Senior Michael Connick reflects on his time at his senior retreat that was held in October.
“After a stormy ride across the dreary Causeway, I arrived at Solomon Episcopal Center on the Northshore. My mind, unfortunately, insisted that this retreat would nearly bore me to death, but after a brief introduction, my hypothesis proved incredibly wrong. While meeting in small groups, I learned that not everyone has the same stable and loving family that God has blessed me with. I thanked God at that moment for my parents and brother.
After joking around about how much our mothers would cry after her “little baby” left home for college, we examined both the positives and negatives about the male role models in our lives. For me, I had nothing but positives. My father has been the greatest father I could ask for, and Mr. Bailey has been a fantastic musical mentor. I thanked God for the male mentors in my life.
The next few hours teemed with shock and discomfort. A ball of lead thumped in my stomach after reading the words on the screen of the five truths of life. Everything else they told us about selflessness and about giving oneself to God during times of suffering, I understood. However, the message that ‘You are going to die’ sent panic waves flooding over my body. After a few minutes of uncomfortable laughter and joking, a wave of peace enveloped me. Yes, hopefully VERY far into the future, my life will end. But death is not something to fear. It is something to be grateful for . . . now bear with me. Without death, would life have meaning? Without death, would humans have any incentive to live life to the fullest? Death is not an evil skeleton draped in a hood lurking behind us. Rather, it is God waiting to pull our soul into eternal life with Him. My late grandfather, whose St. Aloysius ring I now wear, once said, “When we are born, we get a ticket to heaven (hopefully). We know the platform, but we do not know the departure time. So we got to be ready for that train.” Strangely enough, I thanked God for death, for knowing that death is real only gives my life meaning.
While wandering alone around the grounds Sunday in the dark of night, I clasped a cup of hot chocolate in my shivering hands and wondered what my purpose in life was. I expected a big crack of lightning and the booming voice of God to tell me, but God does not communicate that way, for he whispers to us in silence. That is why we must unplug our lives from electronics and just listen. The crickets chirping, the water steadily flowing, leaves crunching on the ground, and the soft wind whispering through pine trees, that’s how God talks to us. At that moment, I thanked God for giving us terrible cell phone reception.
I also realized that maybe God doesn’t give humans an innate purpose. Maybe, we are obligated to create a purpose for ourselves. God grants us the gift of life and the gift of a day, so make them count. God doesn’t have a checklist for what we must do, for that is ours to make. Mr. Vicknair’s words from the junior retreat stick with me to this day: “Find an injustice in our world, get mad at it, and fix it.” I thank God for allowing us all to find our own purpose in life.
For many hours, many of us would just wander the grounds in the beautiful weather and appreciate the serene and peaceful scene around us. In these two days, I have gotten to know classmates that I had never spoken a word to. I thank God for my classmates and the opportunity to get to know them.
To close this reflection, I thought about sadness and how life can be horrible at times, but I am grateful for all the blessings God has given me — and that makes me smile. Everyday, I thank God for sadness, so we may appreciate the happiness he gives us. This retreat allowed such thoughts to surface in my mind.” –Reflection by Brother Martin student Michael Connick, 2018
